Eighteen

My dear Abu passed away yesterday morning at about 1.30am Pakistan time. May Allah rest his soul.
Being born after 15 years to parents who become dependant on you at an early age is a great challenge. I am ashamed to report at many times I failed at this challenge. Mostly because I had to argue and fight just to get an education abroad. But all that changed when I returned.

My Abu used to always say he is very proud of me and he went out of his way to help me find a job here. Unfortunately despite his best efforts it wasn't possible. I am not sure why but I think it may have to do with another family member who had passed away and with whom I had an argument just before I left to complete my Bachelors in Australia. Maybe this land was cursed for me but nevertheless he never stopped trying to help me.

I could continue this blog with how much of a wonderful father my Abu was. But I know that would only be something that would be expected of me instead I would relate some of the absolutely funny and heart-warming incidents that happened with him and I. We always had a special relationship. Since I was young I was known as Daddy's girl but that all changed when I got into college in Malaysia and then my Mum became my support system. Dad was too distraught to let me go but eventually he warmed up to the idea specially when I scored straight Bs in my first semester. I wasn't a hard working student in school but once I started studying what I loved I became in a way very good at it.

Most of my memories involving Abu occur in Sri Lanka a land which has since my paternal grandfather been a favourite topic of analysis with him and I;

*Abu waking me up one night to come and listen to my Mum snoring. He used to always get scolded for snoring and he wanted to prove to me he wasn't the only one.

* Finding me at night - during my difficult years of 15 -16 sitting near the stairwell listening to the waves crash against the shore, leaning against the wall and crying my heart out. He told me to go to bed and to pray and fall asleep.

*Buying me a whole lot of Nancy Drews in the middle of the workday at a book shop in Kollpity. The bookshop is still there and when I went last May I couldn't help thinking of that day.

*Me getting ready to go with Mum to pick up Abu in Pettah where he used to work - unfortunately these moments came to an end when our car went through a bad accident.

* Asking when I came 14th in class for exams and 7th for term assignments and my brother had the exact opposite results whether we both had conspired for them. Despite me being terrible in school he never once screamed at me with rage. Instead he said I should become a graduate because in Pakistan only graduated girls were able to marry well. I did say I might never marry then he is like then your education will still be your support.

* Gifting me a brand new typewriter when I turned 16 because I kept saying since I was 10 years old that I would become a journalist one day. When my dream changed to filmmaking and photography and I gave up the typewriter to writing by hand he continued to support me.

* Saturday night dinners once a month at Holiday Inn. These became infrequent as the financial burden of a country ravaged by war took its toll on Dad and my grandfathers business.

*Telling me that his old lawyer friend said (who was a Hindu and who arranged the sale of our property in Sri Lanka) that my birth date 27.9.1980 was considered very auspicious meant I was going to achieve much in life. I might even be a politician. I rolled my eyes in response and said I considered every 9th, 18th and 27th of a month jinxed for years now.



*Late last year sharing photos of the first shops in Kandy with Abu - photos which I had asked a friend to take. The establishments were sold when Dad moved the business from Kandy to Pettah.





He broke down in tears when he saw the 100-year legacy in living light.


I could go on and on and on but these moments would never end and I know like a show reel will keep spinning in my head every time I lay down to sleep. Innanl Lahi Wainna Lahi Raji Oon (From Him We Come and to Him we return). Take care Abu you will be sorely missed.